iPhone 3.0 details released; cut-n-paste tooth gnashers released from their personal hells

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Mar 172009
 

So the iPhone 3.0 event is history.  Apple’s Scott Forstall and Greg Joswiak did admirably pinch-hitting for the Jobster.  Aside from the fish-in-a-barrel predictions of cut-and-paste and MMS that’ll keep people listening to Kevin Rose for the next 5 minutes‚ there were several other features which‚ depending on how they’re implemented/how much Apple will let devs get away with‚ could be huge.  Spotlight integration for Mail‚ Calendar‚ iPod and “other supported apps” was detailed‚ as was the ability to make in-app purchases‚ built in Maps and over 100 other features and 1‚000 APIs.

Maybe someone will explain to me how MMS gets 15% of the vote in the “Favorite New Feature” poll over at Ars.  Obv Euro bias.

My favorite coverage‚ from Ars Technica‚ here.

 Posted by JT at 2:43 pm  Tagged with:

Brian “Apple is living in denial” Caufield provides indisputable evidence of Apple netbook

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Mar 102009
 

skeptic001-300x233Poor Brian Caufield over at Forbes really wants a Mac Netbook.  Trouble is‚ instead of crapping in a bag and putting out a POS that will compete with the offerings from Dell‚ Asus et. al‚ Apple insists on making it’s money by margin and not by volume.  “The computer- and gizmo-maker fiddles with its Mac lineup as the world economy burns” he wrote of Apple’s March 3 revamping of the iMac and Mac Pro lines.  Translation: while PC manufacturers‚ who have no margins to begin with‚ are releasing $250 crapbooks‚ Apple is content with a paltry fluff of its existing offerings‚ all the while laughing at the poor suckers who can’t afford their insanely high-priced products. Continue reading »

 Posted by JT at 5:30 pm  Tagged with: ,

Proof that contextual architecture in Georgetown can be easy‚ fun

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Mar 102009
 

Whoever said designing a building that matches the character of a historic district can’t be painless for architect and developer alike?  Hint: it wasn’t Apple.

The discerning eyes that make up the Georgetown architectural preservation board finally relented and approved the design submitted by lowly‚ strip mall developer Apple‚ Inc. for a store on Wisconsin Avenue.  Did I mention that this was the fifth submission?  Did I mention that the first and fourth submissions were virtually identical to the fifth?

After the fourth submission‚ Neil O. Albert, deputy mayor for planning and economic development, said in a statement “The community and the Fenty administration are very supportive of this retailer opening its Georgetown store. I’ll move quickly to convene separate meetings with the Old Georgetown Board and Apple representatives to reach a consensus design.”  Albert’s statement did not mention whether his rectum preferred the supple rounded edges of Rob Johnson’s Oxfords or the more pronounced articulation of his Wingtips.

A tip of the cap to the folks over at Apple and their design team.  If it were me‚ I’d have packed up my easels after submission 3.   Are we in a boom market now or something?  Why don’t we let your shitty vacant building sit for a decade or two?  Y’all in City Government can have some time to decide if your articulated window bays were more important than the millions in economic impact generated annually by the average Apple Store.  Fucktards.

Guess that’s why I’m not in retail.  Or marketing.  Or generally work with people.

 Posted by JT at 4:45 pm  Tagged with: ,

Roger NcNamee Named Chief of Retractable Statements at Palm‚ Inc.

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Mar 092009
 

roger001Anyone who’s ever had a controlling interest – be they boss‚ spouse or capital investor – go off the reservation when they were allowed to unhinge their cake-traps will appreciate this story.  Palm Inc. filed a “Free Writing Prospectus Published or Distributed by Media” – basically a series of qualifications and retractions – for Elevation Partners’ Roger McNamee statements to Bloomberg TV during a March 5 interview about the not-yet-released Palm Pre.

Now Roger’s bias is understandable: he and the folks at Elevation have a lot of money riding on the Pre’s ability to save Palm.  That said‚ you’re really not doing your investment any favors when they have to swab up your representations of their product to the point where only the prepositions in the transcript remain unaltered (I may have to file my own prospectus for that one). My personal favorites from the interview followed by their corrections in bold:

“You know the beautiful thing: June 29, 2009, is the two- year anniversary of the first shipment of the iPhone.  Not one of those people will still be using an iPhone a month later.”

The statement in the second paragraph of the article that “not one” person who bought an Apple, Inc. iPhone on the first shipment date “will still be using an iPhone a month” after the two-year anniversary of that day is an exaggerated prediction of consumer behavior pattern and is withdrawn.

“If you want to go to the web, it’s just going to be a million times—well, not a million times—several times faster (than the iPhone)”

…the Palm Pre is still under development and it is premature to state the speed at which the device accesses the web or the relative speed of the Palm Pre compared to the smartphone products of competitors.

A Palm spokesperson‚ who requested to remain anonymous‚ confided that Roger was asked “What’s your encore? Anally raping my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?”.

 Posted by JT at 2:36 pm  Tagged with:
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