Mar 092009

roger001Anyone who’s ever had a controlling interest – be they boss‚ spouse or capital investor – go off the reservation when they were allowed to unhinge their cake-traps will appreciate this story.  Palm Inc. filed a “Free Writing Prospectus Published or Distributed by Media” – basically a series of qualifications and retractions – for Elevation Partners’ Roger McNamee statements to Bloomberg TV during a March 5 interview about the not-yet-released Palm Pre.

Now Roger’s bias is understandable: he and the folks at Elevation have a lot of money riding on the Pre’s ability to save Palm.  That said‚ you’re really not doing your investment any favors when they have to swab up your representations of their product to the point where only the prepositions in the transcript remain unaltered (I may have to file my own prospectus for that one). My personal favorites from the interview followed by their corrections in bold:

“You know the beautiful thing: June 29, 2009, is the two- year anniversary of the first shipment of the iPhone.  Not one of those people will still be using an iPhone a month later.”

The statement in the second paragraph of the article that “not one” person who bought an Apple, Inc. iPhone on the first shipment date “will still be using an iPhone a month” after the two-year anniversary of that day is an exaggerated prediction of consumer behavior pattern and is withdrawn.

“If you want to go to the web, it’s just going to be a million times—well, not a million times—several times faster (than the iPhone)”

…the Palm Pre is still under development and it is premature to state the speed at which the device accesses the web or the relative speed of the Palm Pre compared to the smartphone products of competitors.

A Palm spokesperson‚ who requested to remain anonymous‚ confided that Roger was asked “What’s your encore? Anally raping my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?”.

 Posted by at 2:36 pm

  3 Responses to “Roger NcNamee Named Chief of Retractable Statements at Palm‚ Inc.”

  1. That’s it?

    You just suddenly started a blog on Mar 09 09 with some crap about some fucktard no-ones ever heard of & will never hear of again?

    No BlogStatement?

    No ReasonToBlog?

    No BlogRaisonD’Etre?

    No 12 page drone on your Life History and your Tech Credentials & How I bought my first Mac?

    I know you’ve got a picture of Steve Jobs on the wall of your bedroom, you’re going to tell me all about it in 2011! (but I’m not going to tell you Why you tell me, it’s just too sad.)

    Or is there a text only site somewhere in Alt.Net.Nowhere which lists all that and you don’t link to it?

    ‘Cuz I don’t fancy crawling my way through 2 years of your pro-Mac BJs, to find out more about you, even if my current employer is paying me to sit here and look busy!

    2. How do I get to attach a picture to my profile?

    P.S. i AM going to crawl through the 2 years, I expect your BJs to get much better over time. & with practice.

  2. That’s pretty much how I started. I just bought a domain, looked through the Mac-related news, came across that Elevation douchetard and wrote my first entry. I did have a intro page, but I guess the links got buried when I switched to the new theme. I imagine the reason I didn’t miss it was that it doesn’t say much. I write about Apple because I believe that they – for the most part – make superior consumer electronics, while other manufacturers are content to try and imitate them.

    I edited my “gravatar” through my WordPress account. They’re easy to create if you don’t have one.

    I don’t know if the writing gets better, but it has its moments. Glad to have you along.

  3. ::but it has its moments::

    Sometimes it’s very good (imo).

    But then you start foaming at the mouth & it all goes a bit pear-shaped.

    But that’s good too – I generally like the foaming, it shows you “care”.

    Thanks for the (to me) very strange slang – it’s improved my American English enormously and it can be a laff, even if I have to use Urban Dictionary to work out the punchline.

    Douchebag! Fucktard! I love ’em! :-)

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