May 272010
 

Mary Jo Foley, commenting on a Wall Street analyst’s speculation that none other than Steve Ballmer will be presenting at WWDC:

If Ballmer is going to make a cameo appearance at WWDC, I’m thinking if such an announcement happens, it’ll be Silverlight for the iPhone.

What do these 2 things have to do with the title of the post? Advertising. The standard unit of internet success is the page view. More page views, more revenue. Things like “facts” and “research” work against the internet “journalist” 2 ways: they take time, which limits output and they don’t tend to be as interesting as “despite the fact that Steve Jobs wrote an open letter about why Flash would never make it on Apple’s mobile devices, I think a philosophically identical runtime from Microsoft is going to be announced by Steve Ballmer at Apple’s largest developer event”

Fucking.

Retarded.

Want to know why respectable print media is floundering? Want to know why a 600 word article on a tech site has to be spread over 19 pages? Want to know why the content you read for free on the internet is reduced to moronic spew like MJ’s?

Page views. So go ahead, buy a Nexus One and make sure to click through plenty of Google’s ads, so they can continue to rake in billions from your personal data and incentivize the collective lobotomization of our society. Along this trajectory, in 5 years we’ll have reduced all language to clicks and grunts.

  7 Responses to “Dear Google: Thanks for the Absurdity”

  1. Click, click, grunt, click, grunt, grunt, grunt!

  2. I was wondering the same thing. Silverlight??? Seriously?

  3. I couldn’t agree more.

  4. Superb post, couldn’t agree more! Keep up the trenchant writing.

  5. Well done. How do you come up with Silverlight, of all things, when hearing that Ballmer would be there.

  6. /ducks thrown chair
    /grabs barcalounger

  7. “What the fuck did I do?!”

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