Nov 162010

Despite not being able to cogitate anything but disingenuous corporate doublespeak, Adobe’s Shantanu Narayen continues to fill the air with Flash rhetoric that’s becoming increasingly embarrassing to behold. His latest trip off the reservation was today at the Web 2.0 Summit, where he declared that the reason Flash runs so miserably on the new MacBook Air is because Adobe didn’t get an advance copy of the machine so they could optimize it for the hardware. With that hilarious statement, one has to wonder what he was thinking.

When Steve Jobs said that he didn’t want to have Apple and its customers held hostage to the release schedules of third party development platforms, statements like “we didn’t have an advance copy of your hardware so we could optimize our technology for it” was more or less exactly what he was talking about. And since when has Adobe optimized Flash for versions of Apple hardware anyway?

Despite any precedent, Narayen claims that Adobe has the new Air in their labs and is currently beta testing an optimized version of Flash for it. So I guess we can look forward to Adobe-optimized versions of Flash for all Apple hardware running different GPUs? In perpetuity? I’m sure that’ll be announced with the version of Flash that can run on a modern mobile processor without grinding it to a halt. You know: the one that he’s been flapping his gums about for the last 2 years.

This guy is so full of shit it makes my eyes bleed. Adobe is so clearly trying to defend the technology  they overpaid Macromedia to get, they will say anything to extend the duration of its overdrawn tenure. Apple released a hugely hyped and critically acclaimed piece of hardware, someone quantified Flash’s dismal effect on the device’s performance, and the the anti-Flash kiln flared to several thousand degrees. Narayen’s lip service response is nothing more than piss-poor damage control; it will not produce “Adobe Flash for Macbook Air” any more than his words have ever delivered on any promise the company has made regarding Flash and mobile devices.

  7 Responses to “Adobe’s Shantanu Narayen: Still Full of Sh*t”

  1. You cheapen your article by the casually cynical expression ‘His latest trip off the reservation was today’.
    You are endorsing the idea that it was a good thing that native residents of your country, later named America, were slaughtered in their millions, far in excess of the Jewish holocaust, betrayed by broken treaties, emasculated, ridiculed and contained into reservation-dwelling strangers in their own lands. This was mechanised machine-gun ethnic cleansing on the grandest scale. You are not allowed to think about it because your media only care about the work of Hitler, not of Americans own industrial scale mass extermination expertise. America is the stolen country. Its native residents were truly brave and free.They did not have to make a national song about it…they lived it. Modern day Americans live in a treadmill reservation of their own creation, where they must keep running simply to keep up or they become the new despised have-nots.
    I like your blog, but what were you thinking?
    Do you not understand the bitter provenance of the expressions you use?

  2. To be clear about my feelings for your opinion of the use of “off the reservation”, the scientific community will eventually come up with a unit of measurement to quantify how little I care. I’m hoping someday they will so I can more meaningfully express my level of concern for your point of view. I could expand on the point by going into detail about the connotations you personally draw from the idiom and your ridiculous comparison to the Holocaust (always the sign of a quality comment), but then I’d be expressing more concern than I truly have. You won’t be missed.

  3. Just a couple of small nitpicks:
    1. you refer to “mechanised machine-gun ethnic cleansing on the grandest scale”: the original Gatling gun ( was created in 1862 but was a large, cumbersome item employed mainly by the Navy (did the native Americans have a navy?) but did see some battlefield action in the Civil War, which as I’m sure you know was after the vast majority of the Colonist/Indian Wars had concluded.
    2. Comparing the Jewish Holocaust to the conquering of north america is also pretty disingenuous: the “Holocaust” generally occurred between 1933 to 1945, whereas the colonization of the Americas (you know, there were Aztecs and Incans too!… and the Spanish murdered and raped the hell out of them for their gold, yet modern North Americans catch all the crap… odd, isn’t it?) occurred over the better part of 2 centuries. Additional estimates say that the vast majority of native deaths occurred from infectious diseases for which the population had no immunity, so is that really an “extermination” tactic? Yes, I’ve read the same accounts of the typhoid-infested blankets etc, but does that mean that was the main vector of attack for all those deaths? If so, then the native population must have been the biggest collection of morons of all time (“Hey Squanto! Remember when the Sioux all died from those blankets they got off those English settlers?… well look what they just gave me!” /hugs blanket).
    3. Your last comment that they were “truly brave and free” connotes some sort of native Utopian society of love and mutual brotherhood, Nothing could be further from the truth. Some contemporary accounts (I have no sources: it’s been 2 decades since I took the american history class at a NYC university) indicate the horrified European observers seeing the barbarism victorious tribes would inflict over their conquered foes: sadistic torture of the male warriors and the rape & slavery of the women & children, and that was just the appetizers!

    My point: these types of wars and conquest were not invented by modern Americans (1600-2010) nor were the concepts of depopulation and extermination of native peoples (see: Roman Empire, 27BC – 476AD). These are traits practiced by ALL HUMANS since the DAWN OF TIME: an objective view of available history bears this out. Your contention that the mere inclusion of a phrase that has entered the popular vernacular over the past hundred or so years in some way lessens the message of a technology-based blog post shows an extreme over-sensitivity for political correctness (a disease in its own right) on your part, and frankly, it’s funny as hell to me.

    Now, let’s get back to complaining about Adobe! (also, a native-american derived word… THAT’S OUR WORD!!!)

  4. My point is well made.
    And you do care, since you took the time to respond.
    Thank you.

  5. Actually, my response was intended to discourage moronic (as is thoroughly demonstrated by BigLeagueJew’s contribution above), off-topic comments from others.

    But feel free to interpret it as selfishly as you need to. Your imaginary moral high ground no doubt helps you during those frequent episodes of people’s eyes glazing over when you point out the classlessness of their turns of phrase. I’m sure you’re a blast at cocktail parties.

    Assuming you have conversations IRL.

  6. JT,
    the “hatchet job” you just did on Adobe’s crumbling abode, was well “executed.” You’ll have Mr. Narayen “heading for the hills” for another “pow wow” with Adobe’s PR machine.

    They don’t have a hollow wooden leg to stand on.

  7. Well-played, sir. +1

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