Feb 222011

Microsoft has been stamping their wares on silicon longer than the Gizmodo editorial board has been alive, which is to say that they should know what they’re doing. Windows Phone 7 is Microsoft’s way-late entry into an already-crowded smartphone arena, so you’d figure the seamless execution of its first software update would be the company’s top priority. Unfortunately for Redmond, despite the centuries of experience and the pressure to get everything right for any shot at a foothold in a market dominated by Apple and Google, Microsoft fucked up their first update – bigtime. How big? According to Ars Technica:

“For lucky individuals, the process merely hangs on step seven (out of ten); rebooting the phone resurrects it, albeit without the upgrade. For a minority of unlucky users, the process fails at step six, and corrupts the phone’s firmware. What’s worse is that for some of them it appears to be bricking the phone completely, rendering it useless.”

I also found this bit about how to find out if your smartphone is going to implode when updating entertaining:

“Figuring out which firmware version you have is a somewhat awkward procedure. From the phone’s dialer, type ##634#, then press the call button. This will start up Samsung’s Diagnosis application.

In the Diagnosis application, type *#1234#. This will show a screen of detailed version information. It’s the first three version numbers (for “PDA”, “Phone”, and “CSC”) that are relevant here. If the firmware versions are older (JIx, JJx) then the update probably won’t work; if they’re newer (JKx) it probably will.”

Sounds a lot like a troubleshooting procedure for a certain desktop OS. To all you IT dickheads who stood by your man and sold this bag of turds as the enterprise solution to your company, please commence sucking it.

In a way, I wish Microsoft would throttle back on the cock-ups, lest parties concerned about the direction of the company become alerted and attempt to seize control. To date, it appears that investors and the all-star board of directors are content to watch this flaming car wreck unfold in slow-motion frame by hilarious frame.

  One Response to “Windows Phone 7 First Update: Bricking Phone, Corrupting Firmware is a Feature, Not a Bug”

  1. This is beyond ridiculous. MS is destined to be a footnote in tech history as the company that “had it all” but couldn’t do anything with it. Ballmer should be strung up by what ever hair he has left. MS sufferers simply need to switch to a platform that works.

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