Mar 162011
 

You’ve no doubt seen AT&T’s latest ads touting the benefit of talking and texting at the same time, something you cannot do on Verizon’s more-dated CDMA network. What you probably didn’t know is that, in addition to crafting snarky commentary, TMA also moonlights as a screenwriter. My angle – get this: representing things as they actually are in real life. Obviously, this radical approach to moving pictures isn’t for everyone. The producers at AT&T rejected TMA’s attempt to realistically script the events depicted in “Talk and Text at the Same Time”, but that doesn’t mean this work of art can’t be appreciated by a (nominally) larger audience. I present to you: TMA’s take on Talk and Text.

INT. OFFICE – NIGHT

MAN sits at conference room table, staring intently at the numerous papers. All other lights in OFFICE are dark and MAN is obviously under some kind of deadline.

MAN looks over at smartphone on table.

MAN

What the…voicemail? It didn’t even ring!

MAN presses button to play voicemail on speaker.

WOMAN

What…? Are you there? Did you forget what today is? Where are you?

MAN

Crap!

MAN dials number frantically.

MAN

Hello? Honey? Honey?

WOMAN

–ere are you? You —- –pposed to —- vations for-

MAN

What? Jesus – let me get to a window.

MAN frantically scampers away from conference table sending papers flying. MAN runs to window.

MAN

Hello?!

WOMAN

You did make the reservations tonight, didn’t…BOOP-BOOP-BOOP

Phone disconnects.

MAN

Argggg!

MAN opens smartphone browser, progress ball spins for 25 seconds as page begins to load.

MAN

Anytime today! What the f…

Phone rings, replacing browser screen with incoming call screen.

MAN

Hey! I lost you! Of course we’re on for tonight!

WOMAN

So where…

MAN pulls phone away from face to look at browser, which is still loading. He puts phone back to ear.

WOMAN

So?

MAN

So what?

WOMAN (irritated)

Where are the reservations? Are you even listening? What else are you doing when I’m trying to talk to you?!

MAN

Nothing!

MAN pulls phone away again to check browser. Google Maps is 75% loaded.

MAN (tersely)

I need to call you back.

MAN hangs up and goes to computer. Clacks at keyboard for 10 seconds. Dials smartphone again.

WOMAN (very irritated)

Real special night so far, jerk. Are you through just making the plans?

MAN

Don’t be ridiculous…we’re on at…BOOP-BOOP-BOOP

Phone disconnects.

MAN (enraged)

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

MAN throws smartphone through nearby LCD, walks over to landline, dials.

~FIN~

 Posted by at 11:37 am  Tagged with:

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