Aug 242011

It was only mere hours before the stories about Steve Jobs stepping down as Apple’s CEO went from pleasant farewells to fear-mongering clickbait. Congratulations to Gizmodo on reverting back to classic Gawker form in record time.  Our link-licious headline? “Apple without Steve Jobs Scares the Shit out of Wall Street”. The evidence? A 5% drop in Apple’s stock price in after-hours trading. Let me try to put that in perspective for you:

Even if we assume a 5% discount on today’s closing, the company that made an absurd $12.5 billion acquisition with no discernible upside “scares the shit out of Wall Street” a little more than a company losing a CEO who is the most respected and intimately-involved of any in business.  If anything, a 5% after-hours dip is an extraordinary testament to the faith investors have in Apple as a company.

So do us all a favor, Giz: wait until the market opens tomorrow before you start slinging your shit. Maybe throw up a few more of those Lego posts that so appeal to your 13 year-old reader base.

 Posted by at 11:13 pm
Aug 242011

Today, Apple announced that Steve Jobs has tendered his resignation, effective immediately.

The inevitability of today’s news makes reading it is no less surreal. I remember the first time I imagined it was possible that Jobs could be anything but Apple’s CEO. It was the commencement address he delivered to Stanford in 2005.

“About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.”

In the halcyon days of a career that produced the greatest second act in business history, the man at the podium at Stanford was a man that was grateful for a second chance at life. Every day that followed that morning with his doctor was gravy to him.

The coming days will produce millions of pieces about what Steve was to Apple, to the technology sector, to the creative world. All of them will be thankful, most of them will be eulogic, some will be apocalyptic. Even though Steve’s own parting words are terse and somewhat somber, I’m hopeful that as Chairman of the Board, he’ll continue to influence the greatest company in tech for a decade or two more.

For however long Jobs continues to do what he does, one thing is indisputable: in a world where revisionist history tends to distort the achievements of mediocre leaders, it’s not possible for any exaggeration of Jobs’ accomplishments to be that far from the truth. That’s as close to a definition of “unique” as I can get.

Be well, Steve. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And thanks for everything.

 Posted by at 8:44 pm
Aug 242011

The U.S.Department of Justice kicked off its own open season on Google by announcing that Mountain View will be coughing up $500 million because they’ve been facilitating the selling of unregulated drugs through online pharmacies, mostly Canada. From the DoJ press release:

“The shipment of prescription drugs from pharmacies outside the United States to customers in the United States typically violates the Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act and in the case of controlled prescription drugs , the Controlled Substances Act.  Google was aware as early as 2003, that generally, it was illegal for pharmacies to ship controlled and non-controlled prescription drugs into the United States from Canada” (emphasis mine)

And this is the company to which tens of millions of people blindly trust their personal information?

 Posted by at 1:43 pm
Aug 242011

While Apple’s U.S. and EU suits against “slavish copier” Samsung continue on their own tracks, the separate suit filed by Apple in the Netherlands has just been ruled upon and boy does it look bad for Sammy. From Engadget (come for the reporting, flee like you’re on fire before you scroll down to comments):

“In an official press release, the court explains that The Hague judge ruled to “ban trading of Samsung smartphones Galaxy SS II and Ace,'”

How’s that “Space Odyssey Defense” coming, Sammy? You could include “Etch-a-Sketches” and “Moses’ Tablets” as prior art as well – it’s not stopping your asses from getting served.

 Posted by at 10:30 am
Aug 242011

The company that served as the inspiration for Microsoft’s hilarious “Bargain Hunter” ad series reported worse-than-expected earnings – an effect that smacks of a certain tablet the name of which competing companies can’t seem to form their mouth around.

Taiwan pr0n star Acer Chairman JT Wang called the $234 million loss “a correction period”, which I guess means “So netbooks are a viable long-term product, and not just a way to accelerate all PC prices race to the bottom? Correction! period”. Wang also continue to insist that “tablets” are a fad, a statement that makes less sense than it did  a year ago when he originally made it. I’m sure your shareholders love hearing such a shrewd assessment of the competition as the value of their stock continues to decompose.

 Posted by at 9:57 am
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