In my extremely rich fantasy life, I have this image of Microsoft circa 1995 in my head. They’re partying with Adobe at an exclusive club, smoking some fat Cohibas and rocking out to Gangsta’s Paradise (OK, probably Waterfalls), drinking top shelf liquor and laughing about how rudderless and pathetic Apple Computer turned out to be, how they’d continue to shaft Mac users stuck with versions of their software and how they’d take over the PC landscape together.
My, my how things have changed. A guy named Steve came back, and immediately began chipping away at the establishment. Small victories against Microsoft with QuickTime turned into big victories with the iPod, then the iPhone, then the iPad. Several chairs were thrown in Redmond. Jobs even managed to throw a “fuck you” Adobe’s way when he dumped Flash into an early grave kicking and screaming.
Now Apple is the darling of the consumer electronic industry and Microsoft is a company that has visible stinklines coming off its logo. Its Windows PC business has gone in the crapper, its shartphone business is still trying to gain an itty bitty bit of traction and its presence in the tablet market is still non-existent. As a reminder of Microsoft’s place in the new world pecking order, there was a beautiful rumor circulating this morning that Windows Phone 7 would not be getting Rovio’s latest installment of its mega-popular Angry Birds, a rumor that if true would have been a serious blow to Microsoft’s ambitions in the mobile space. Fortunately, the scare turned out to be false (probably after more than one “What the fuck?” phone call from Redmond). Angry Birds Space will be coming to Windows Phone 7 after all. Someday. Its already available for iOS and Android.
In Redmond, the sense of relief was palpable:
Look at Microsoft: begging for scraps while Apple blows its own smoke rings. Hey Frank: how’s the view of Tim Cook’s ass?