Mar 262012

It appears as though Mike Daisey has finally yielded to the compounding effect of castigation by the media, the technorati and his “peers” in theater. He wrote something on his blog today that resembles an actual apology to everyone he moved by his lies – almost everyone, anyway. So what’s my beef?

First of all, the apology stinks of nothing but desperation, a ploy designed to keep Daisey relevant and not totally ostracized from people he considers his peers. When people first got wind of his lies, the assault that hammered Daisey for his practices came from all directions. Despite the ubiquity of condemnation, he remained hilariously recalcitrant, his self-righteousness gland working overtime in the face of uniform scrutiny, his enormous ego probably convincing him that it was the right way to respond. Even universally reviled fuck-ups like Jerry Falwell knew to cut straight to the bawling when they were caught red-handed. Not Mike. It wasn’t until everyone with a pulse and access to a keyboard continued to pound him for a while that Daisey relented. Which leads me to my bigger issue.

Daisey’s apology covers just about everyone: This American Life listeners, the people who paid money to see him lie on stage, even the theater community that he probably believes he can ingratiate himself to in the hopes of working with them again. The only glaring omission is the entity he slighted, the very reason Daisey got to make all that money and get his face splashed across the media in the first place.

He didn’t apologize to Apple.

It’s probably because, on some level, he believes that what he was accusing Apple of is a truth that rises above all the lies he injected into the discourse. Somewhere, somehow, Mike Daisey still blames Apple for the shitstorm he alone created. Nevermind that Apple’s success is the only reason that Daisey was able to line his venues’ seats with asses, nevermind that no one would give a shit about what he had to say if Apple wasn’t the most successful company on the planet; people wouldn’t give a shit about what he said if he spoke the truth about the most successful company on the planet. It’s a little like Dan Lyons’s schtick with Fake Steve Jobs: the parasite’s venom is proportionate to the success of its host.

This is what Tim Cook had to say about the liquified bullshit stirred up by the likes of Mike Daisey:

As a company and as individuals, we are defined by our values. Unfortunately some people are questioning Apple’s values today, and I’d like to address this with you directly. We care about every worker in our worldwide supply chain. Any accident is deeply troubling, and any issue with working conditions is cause for concern. Any suggestion that we don’t care is patently false and offensive to us. As you know better than anyone, accusations like these are contrary to our values. It’s not who we are.

If Daisey knew anything about Apple – if he was 1/10th the “fanboy” he claimed himself to be while operating his manure-spreader on stage – he’d understand that Cook’s quote wasn’t rhetoric designed to appease shareholders. In Daisey’s mind, Apple is some faceless monolith that feels no responsibility towards its supply chain – that’s the image that made him so much money and got him so many sound bytes, after all. But it’s not the kind of company Apple is. Daisey insulted the integrity of Apple and everyone who works for the company. Above anyone else, they deserve your apologies, Mike.

I personally don’t care if Mike Daisey ever apologizes to Apple and I’m pretty sure Apple doesn’t care either. But the company’s absence in his “apology” tells you – again – all you need to know about him. His heartfelt mea culpa is a vehicle deployed for the express purpose of keeping him relevant, a last resort thrown out in an effort to get him off the many, many “most hated” lists he’s found himself on despite his belief that he shouldn’t be there. His words contain the same level of sincerity as anything he’s written since he’s been called out as a fraud.

Which is to say none.

 Posted by at 8:25 pm

  3 Responses to “Mike Daisey: Tears of a Clown”

  1. The other people Daisey didn’t apologize to were the Chinese people whose reputations he besmirched & whose plight he exploited for his personal gain, which plight has certainly not been helped by the scandal.

  2. And US Service Personnel operating in combat zones work 12 hour shifts 7 days a week. I’m –surprised– Michael Daisey isn’t working to improve their conditions.

  3. I don’t think the plight of US Service personnel would line Daisey’s pockets nearly as effectively as the “plight” of personnel assembling Apple’s products. Such is the nature of faux outrage.

    And if you are among those service personnel, thank you for all you’re doing.

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