The technoverse eyeballs headlines that make Apple look bad like a fat man eyes up the Golden Corral buffet. One of the latest drumsticks: the appearance of Google Maps in the App Store released a pent-up demand of millions who oh-so-wanted to update their iPhones, but couldn’t bear being saddled with a map/navigation app that ate babies. The evidence: some ad network asshat observed that traffic from iOS 6 devices spiked 30% immediately after Google’s launch. From the cut-and-pasters at TechCrunch, quoting MoPub’s CEO:
We observed since the launch of Google Maps for iOS 6 a 30 percent increase in unique iOS 6 users, and we think it’s related to Google Maps. It verifies the hypothesis that people were actually holding back to upgrade until Google Maps was available.
Such joy in blogland! Apple’s Maps sucks so hard that people actually waited for a non-sucky navigation app from Google to upgrade! They couldn’t use Waze or HopStop to get them by. It was that bad! Take that, Apple! The news spread across the tech blogs and social networks like only Apple schadenfreude can. Some bloggers, upon hearing the news, were a little more skeptical.
And guess what? 6 oz. of common sense turned out to know more about Apple metrics than some shithead whose business is supposed to be all about metrics. So how did TechCrunch backpeddle away from the fact that their lust for Apple pinata hits blinded them to what a stupid hypothesis this was?
Update: One fact that may confound this data is that roughly 2 million iPhone 5s went online in China over the say timespan as the study analyzed, and they may have contributed to the increased iOS 6 traffic data. However, those phones aren’t likely enough to account for the entire boost in iOS 6 traffic to MoPub-partnered apps.
First: no timestamp on the update. You can assume that it was after enough people pointed out this simple fact to TC that they had to put something up. As for their language – “May confound”, but “aren’t likely enough to account for the entire boost”? Really? Why isn’t it likely? I guess admitting when the shit is actually squishing through your toes is too humble for TC now that Arrington is writing for them again. TechCrunch should read how the U.S. and Canadian iOS 6 adoption didn’t move during the period MoMoneyPub is claiming the 30% spike. Isn’t that curious?
TechCrunch: if you’re going to ram the long bone up the pooch when reporting idiocy as fact, at least have the character to post a proper retraction.