Mar 212013

And someone didn’t like it. Rather than go too far into why I think that Gruber isn’t right – and he may be, but he’s not yet – I’ll link to my most recent tech blog find: John C. Welch, who writes and co-hosts the Angry Mac Bastards podcast. I am honestly ashamed I hadn’t found this guy earlier, if for no other reason than he’s possibly the only person writing about Apple who’s more angry, derides more people and swears more than I do when he writes. Seriously: this guy drops f-bombs like I drop beats dishes. And he’s awesome.

Bottom line: don’t mistake enthusiastically toeing the party line for capability. No one even knows what Kevin Lynch is going to be doing for Apple except, of course,  Apple. The company that hired him. After they meticulously screened him, thoroughly interviewed him and almost certainly made him explain Gruber’s claim chowder quotables. It’s not like Tim Cook browsed over to Daring Fireball and muttered “Fuck me – not again.” I’m pretty sure they worked through their issues before they made him a job offer. And I’m pretty sure they made it despite his pro-Flash/anti-Apple delirium . I don’t know if JG’s scotch was going down particularly well that night, or it was because the Yankees, despite their bloated payroll, aren’t waiting for the postseason to shit the bed. Whatever the reason, I’ll chalk it up to an off night.

Just for a little while, can we pretend the John Browett thing was a one-off and give Apple a little credit for hiring someone that could possibly contribute greatly to their pretty-good-but-not-great online services presence? Even though it’s de rigueur to jump in Apple’s shit way before it’s warranted, a little restraint isn’t a bad thing either. Especially for someone who usually chooses their fights as wisely as Gruber.

 Posted by at 10:46 pm
Mar 212013

A couple years ago, I wrote about how J.D. Power provided some much-needed perspective regarding how people feel about their smartphones. That was when the iPhone was the top rated smartphone for only the sixth consecutive time. Today, that kind of perspective is easier to lose than ever. Apple’s stock is getting shit on for no apparent reason, cheered on by the mob of asshats that feel emboldened to make evermore frequent predictions for Apple’s imminent demise.

Screeny Shot Mar 21, 2013 8.57.39 PM

Last 2 months: much more Douchebag than Lannister

Apple can’t even hire anybody without a usually-stalwart Apple blogger calling him out as a “bozo” for some shit he said while working for an Apple competitor. As people become more desperate for their precious pageviews, the anti-Apple rhetoric has risen from occasionally asinine to ubiquitously asinine. Cue J.D. Power’s announcement that Apple has bested the smartphone field yet again – for the ninth consecutive time. And it wasn’t even close.

How do you spell commodity? A-N-D-R-O-I-D

How do you spell commodity? A-N-D-R-O-I-D

Apple scored a whopping 59 points above the average. Speaking of average, check out the Android OEMs hugging the “meh” line. Overlay that shit all you want guys: it looks like your plans to make Android “special” netted you exactly jack shit. I’m sure the people surveyed had to check the label on the phone before shrugging their shoulders in ennui. And Thorazine Heins should pull his company’s handsets out of the customer satisfaction toilet before spouting off about how stale Apple’s tech is.

 Posted by at 9:24 pm
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