Mar 212013

A couple years ago, I wrote about how J.D. Power provided some much-needed perspective regarding how people feel about their smartphones. That was when the iPhone was the top rated smartphone for only the sixth consecutive time. Today, that kind of perspective is easier to lose than ever. Apple’s stock is getting shit on for no apparent reason, cheered on by the mob of asshats that feel emboldened to make evermore frequent predictions for Apple’s imminent demise.

Screeny Shot Mar 21, 2013 8.57.39 PM

Last 2 months: much more Douchebag than Lannister

Apple can’t even hire anybody without a usually-stalwart Apple blogger calling him out as a “bozo” for some shit he said while working for an Apple competitor. As people become more desperate for their precious pageviews, the anti-Apple rhetoric has risen from occasionally asinine to ubiquitously asinine. Cue J.D. Power’s announcement that Apple has bested the smartphone field yet again – for the ninth consecutive time. And it wasn’t even close.

How do you spell commodity? A-N-D-R-O-I-D

How do you spell commodity? A-N-D-R-O-I-D

Apple scored a whopping 59 points above the average. Speaking of average, check out the Android OEMs hugging the “meh” line. Overlay that shit all you want guys: it looks like your plans to make Android “special” netted you exactly jack shit. I’m sure the people surveyed had to check the label on the phone before shrugging their shoulders in ennui. And Thorazine Heins should pull his company’s handsets out of the customer satisfaction toilet before spouting off about how stale Apple’s tech is.

 Posted by at 9:24 pm

Leave a Reply

  • RSS
  • Twitter
%d bloggers like this: