Mar 262013

I’m late to the party on this one, I know. After 5 months slinging fecal hash for ReadWriteRithmatic Web – or whatever the fuck they’re calling it today – visionary Dan Lyons has left for some marketing firm. One more bowl rotation closer to the sewer pipe. As I said last September, while panning a piece he wrote for Shitshowdo:

For what it’s worth, Dan Lyons is a pathetic human being who sifts through the ashes of controversy for a living while regretting every second of his career since the FSJ salad years, aware that every piece of excrement he throws up for public viewing is another point closer to the origin on the graph of his career trajectory, which can be plotted thusly: r = aθ, where a is a real-number constant greater than 0.

Bon voyage, Daniel!

  4 Responses to “So Dan Lyons is Changing Jobs Again?”

  1. namaste lyons, enjoy the karma bitch.

  2. I almost forgot about that namaste shit. Imagining the look on his face in that fucking pose on his site makes me instantly want to kick a puppy. And I’m a dog person.

  3. Aren’t you a little cookie full of arsenic! Exactly what have you accomplished, except to demonstrate a juvenile talent for excoriating another man’s work with a lot of pottymouthed insults?

  4. I like that you used the word “work” to describe a career lamprey whose only literary contributions consist of those siphoned from Steve Jobs accomplishments until his death. It’s too bad people are so tuned-in to his schtick now that he can’t make a living banging his little anti-Apple drum. Bet he really misses those FSJ salad years when he thought the sky was the limit for his career.

    What I’ve accomplished is not really relevant – or in any way related to what I write. As far as this blog, I’ll tell you what I won’t accomplish: I won’t manufacture garbage for the sake of driving traffic, nor will I insult my readers’ intelligence by presenting disingenuous fucktards as anything but. You can read it or not – your choice. You can comment or not – judging by your one contribution, I honestly couldn’t care less.

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