TheMacAdvocate

Apple does not respond to market trends by introducing “me too” entries. If there is something of value to be extracted from a market, Apple takes it and packages it into products that have a more intuitive UI, a better industrial design and consequently higher margins.

When MP3 music players were first introduced, Apple didn’t shove some ham-fisted music player out the door.  It thought a lot about how to navigate content, came up with the idea for the clickwheel, and made it the joystick of a UI.  The iPod Classics and Nanos still use this combination and the UI is also at the core of Front Row and the Apple TV.  With the hardware‚ we also got iTunes – the eventual portal to the iTunes Music Store.

Cell phones had been on the market for over two decades before Apple decided to enter it. It did so after carefully considering what was good (almost nothing) and what sucked (nearly everything) about cell phones.  From those musings, we not only got a revolutionary UI and a new model in carrier relationships, we also got advancements in SDK and app propagation.  The point is Apple didn’t compete in markets by conforming to them.  It redefined them through a marriage of form and UI,  backed by other Apple services.

This is why, when red-faced analysts jump up and down screaming about Apple losing out on millions of potential customers by not introducing a netbook, Apple is content to quietly utter “fuck you” through their smiles.

People have been proposing what Apple’s response will be to the netbook craze for at least the past 8 months. Every time Apple acquires, hires or delivers a keynote, speculation runs rampant. I think Apple will introduce a product that will be perceived as a “response” to the netbook‚ but I believe it will be a very different animal.

Continue reading Apple’s “Response” to the Netbook

Every time Apple reports earnings‚ every analyst on the Cupertino beat weighs in with their idea for how Steve should spend his now $30 billion pile of cash.  Most suggest acquisitions of some kind.  The ideas range from the unimaginative to the straight-up retarded (unless someone could explain how you print money with Twitter).  Because I have a blog and a way to upload content‚ I too have an opinion.  Let me frame it for you based on a dream I have for myself and a number of moves Apple has made that would allow this to happen. Continue reading Unsolicited Suggestion for Apple’s Cash #1,505

Apple is a company that brings out the worst in some people.  Whether they be fanboy-bashers or CEOs of bloated software juggernauts, there’s something about Steve’s condescending little smirk that drives people absolutely batshit.  I get it.  I really do.  For most of these individuals, the knowledge that I work with a superior OS is satisfaction enough.  But for a select few, the magnitude of their assholery cannot be dismissed by that melodic C Major chord.  These are the members of Douchebag Row.  This series is designed to honor those who, through word and/or deed, have distinguished themselves as something more than mere assholes.

Let’s begin, shall we? Continue reading Douchebag’s Row: My Tribute to Tech’s Finest

Microsoft revealed the 3rd ad in its “Bargain Hunter” series and in the great tradition of awesome cinematic 3rd installments, this commercial delivers.
Meet Sheila.  Sheila is an artist, a filmmaker.  She needs to find a performance machine;  “…something that’s going to be able to cut video” (notice the ‘term of art’ usage).  She has $2,000 or less to accomplish this.  She chooses…some shitty HP.
Now granted, her reasoning for not choosing the sub-$2,000 Apple offering is sound: it’s limited by a paltry 2 GB of stock RAM and…well, that’s it.

I’ve refrained from commenting on Microsoft’s recent campaign not only because I’m lazy, but also because Redmond’s been doing a pretty good job making themselves look like assholes.  After seeing the 3rd installment of Bargain Hunters, and having cringed through the Mohave and the Seinfeld Experiments, I can offer but one theory to explain Microsoft’s approach to advertising:

Microsoft thinks consumers are fucking retarded. Continue reading Microsoft to Consumers: You’re Retarded

In what was little surprise to anyone in the know (and certainly no surprise in the Mac community), Apple announced its street-stomping earnings last night. The 2nd quarter of 2009 represented the high water mark for revenue for a non-holiday quarter at $8.16 billion with a net profit of $1.21 billion, or $1.33 per diluted share.  This compares to $7.51 billion in revenue and net quarterly profit of $1.05 billion, or $1.16 per diluted share for Q2 of 2008.  Gross margin was up 3 1/2% (from 32.9% to 36.4%) YOY.

COO Tim Cook also made some “2nd base statements” about Apple’s interest in the netbook segment‚ going from zero interest‚ zippo‚ none to kind of bashing the segment and going after specific features that make netbooks an unattractive prospect for Apple. Tim’s basically positioning a future Apple offering in this space. Apple’s improvements over the limitations he’s bashing will be the talking points for said offering. Continue reading Apple stomps Street; Cook continues netbook striptease

So the iPhone 3.0 event is history.  Apple’s Scott Forstall and Greg Joswiak did admirably pinch-hitting for the Jobster.  Aside from the fish-in-a-barrel predictions of cut-and-paste and MMS that’ll keep people listening to Kevin Rose for the next 5 minutes‚ there were several other features which‚ depending on how they’re implemented/how much Apple will let devs get away with‚ could be huge.  Spotlight integration for Mail‚ Calendar‚ iPod and “other supported apps” was detailed‚ as was the ability to make in-app purchases‚ built in Maps and over 100 other features and 1‚000 APIs.

Maybe someone will explain to me how MMS gets 15% of the vote in the “Favorite New Feature” poll over at Ars.  Obv Euro bias.

My favorite coverage‚ from Ars Technica‚ here.

Poor Brian Caufield over at Forbes really wants a Mac Netbook.  Trouble is‚ instead of crapping in a bag and putting out a POS that will compete with the offerings from Dell‚ Asus et. al‚ Apple insists on making it’s money by margin and not by volume.  “The computer- and gizmo-maker fiddles with its Mac lineup as the world economy burns” he wrote of Apple’s March 3 revamping of the iMac and Mac Pro lines.  Translation: while PC manufacturers‚ who have no margins to begin with‚ are releasing $250 crapbooks‚ Apple is content with a paltry fluff of its existing offerings‚ all the while laughing at the poor suckers who can’t afford their insanely high-priced products. Continue reading Brian “Apple is living in denial” Caufield provides indisputable evidence of Apple netbook

Whoever said designing a building that matches the character of a historic district can’t be painless for architect and developer alike?  Hint: it wasn’t Apple.

The discerning eyes that make up the Georgetown architectural preservation board finally relented and approved the design submitted by lowly‚ strip mall developer Apple‚ Inc. for a store on Wisconsin Avenue.  Did I mention that this was the fifth submission?  Did I mention that the first and fourth submissions were virtually identical to the fifth?

After the fourth submission‚ Neil O. Albert, deputy mayor for planning and economic development, said in a statement “The community and the Fenty administration are very supportive of this retailer opening its Georgetown store. I’ll move quickly to convene separate meetings with the Old Georgetown Board and Apple representatives to reach a consensus design.”  Albert’s statement did not mention whether his rectum preferred the supple rounded edges of Rob Johnson’s Oxfords or the more pronounced articulation of his Wingtips.

A tip of the cap to the folks over at Apple and their design team.  If it were me‚ I’d have packed up my easels after submission 3.   Are we in a boom market now or something?  Why don’t we let your shitty vacant building sit for a decade or two?  Y’all in City Government can have some time to decide if your articulated window bays were more important than the millions in economic impact generated annually by the average Apple Store.  Fucktards.

Guess that’s why I’m not in retail.  Or marketing.  Or generally work with people.

Anyone who’s ever had a controlling interest – be they boss‚ spouse or capital investor – go off the reservation when they were allowed to unhinge their cake-traps will appreciate this story.  Palm Inc. filed a “Free Writing Prospectus Published or Distributed by Media” – basically a series of qualifications and retractions – for Elevation Partners’ Roger McNamee statements to Bloomberg TV during a March 5 interview about the not-yet-released Palm Pre.

Now Roger’s bias is understandable: he and the folks at Elevation have a lot of money riding on the Pre’s ability to save Palm.  That said‚ you’re really not doing your investment any favors when they have to swab up your representations of their product to the point where only the prepositions in the transcript remain unaltered (I may have to file my own prospectus for that one). My personal favorites from the interview followed by their corrections in bold:

“You know the beautiful thing: June 29, 2009, is the two- year anniversary of the first shipment of the iPhone.  Not one of those people will still be using an iPhone a month later.”

The statement in the second paragraph of the article that “not one” person who bought an Apple, Inc. iPhone on the first shipment date “will still be using an iPhone a month” after the two-year anniversary of that day is an exaggerated prediction of consumer behavior pattern and is withdrawn.

“If you want to go to the web, it’s just going to be a million times—well, not a million times—several times faster (than the iPhone)”

…the Palm Pre is still under development and it is premature to state the speed at which the device accesses the web or the relative speed of the Palm Pre compared to the smartphone products of competitors.

A Palm spokesperson‚ who requested to remain anonymous‚ confided that Roger was asked “What’s your encore? Anally raping my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?”.