After Apple’s “Antennagate” press event on Friday left the tech press J-School flunkies murmuring about having no carcass left on the horse to kick, there was still an air of apprehension going into Tuesday’s earnings conference call. Would the 3 day window between the release of the iPhone 4 and the end of the quarter significantly cut into sales? Would iPod sales continue to flag? Would the desktop Mac models continue to pull their weight, or would the spike from the refresh have run its course?

The answers: hell no, meh and hell yes, respectively.

Oh – and Apple destroyed the most bullish of estimates for what seems like the 20th quarter in a row. Seriously, Street: when are you guys going to get a fucking clue?

Highlights:

Revenue: $15.7 billion (vs. $14.75 billion predicted)

Earnings: $3.25 billion or $3.51/share (vs. $3.11/share predicted)

iPads: 3.27 million units sold (tough for analysts to blow that one since Apple has been announcing sales)

Macs: 3.47 million units sold (vs. 3.2 million predicted)

Lowlights (courtesy of WSJ Marketwatch):

Francisco Jeronimo, a mobile analyst with IDC, said Tuesday that the antenna issue may still impact results for the fourth fiscal quarter. His firm’s research indicates that 66% of current iPhone owners were delaying their upgrades until a solution was announced.

My research indicates that IDC is a shill rag and 66% of Francisco Jeronimo’s family thinks he’s a jackhole. I don’t know the compensation basis for IDC analysts, but being right is not among them.

Just goes to show despite the efforts of frothing media putzes and characteristically clueless analysts, Apple just keeps printing money.

 

If you believe any of the whining you hear from famous actors about life in the spotlight, it’s tough to be popular. For every person that wants to be like you is someone who wants to tear you down. Witness this any time you’re waiting at the checkout in the supermarket. Mostly marginally-talented people have traded their anonymity in for life under a microscope. ”Brad Still Wants Jen”, ”Sandra’s New Heartache”; thousands of inane headlines pollute the eyes and titillate the stupid every week as mainstream media greases this country’s rail to illiteracy.

The tech industry rags are in a similar race to ding the popular to their benefit. And Apple is without question the biggest target. The latest hit-magnet: tales of the iPhone 4′s antenna woes. Your EVO’s battery lasts 2 hours, your Eris connects your 911 calls then mutes both parties, but the best iPhone ever made gets all the ink because some users encounter some problem some of the time when they hold the handset a particular way.

Fire up the presses!

Although this will make zero difference in the proliferation of poorly-written hit-whore pieces designed only to sensationalize a non-issue with the most popular mobile phone on the planet, I’d like to offer one piece of rational advice for those who have yet to take their Google-sponsored whack at the Apple piñata.

Wait until the company releases the software update it promised to address the problem.

Until then, frothing masses of the blogosphere, your contributions to knowing what the problem is, and therefore being in a position to recommend a course of action, mean shit. You have no clue what combination of hardware and software variables are contributing to this non-issue. Your speculation about what Apple can and should do is about as well-grounded as the latest about Britney.

For a moment, try to think like the respectable journalism that kept this country free.

Take a pass.

© 2011 TheMacAdvocate Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha
  • RSS
  • Twitter