This company is becoming the McDonalds of computing. Cheap, mass products, available everywhere. No nutrients, no ideas, no culture. Windows 8 is a fine example. The new Metro interface displays nonstop, trivial updates from Facebook, Twitter, news sites and stock tickers. Streams of raw noise distract users from the moment they login.

The OP ends up getting fired for emailing his higher-ups about the wastefulness that has come to define Microsoft’s culture. This is a company that will continue to operate on the vig afforded them by their Windows and Office Empires. One by one, as workplace consumers  push their preferences and take their choices back from their IT drones, the company will falter. It may take another decade, but this is a company well on its way to obsolescence.

Another Satisfied Microsoft Employee originally appeared on TheMacAdvocate on April 23, 2012.

And Speaking of Google’s Use of Tactical Nukes… originally appeared on TheMacAdvocate on April 5, 2012.

Now, as we creep closer to a likely release near the end of this year, we can’t shake a sense of doubt. Windows 8 still feels like two very different operating systems trying to be one. The potential is hugely alluring — a single OS to rule both the tablet and the desktop — and with each subsequent version we keep hoping this will be the one that ties it all together. Sadly, as of the Consumer Preview, we’re still seeing a lot of loose threads.

As it stands, Windows 8 is a considerably better tablet operating system than any previous version has managed to be. However, it’s still a clumsier desktop OS than Windows 7. That’s a problem Microsoft must fix before release.

Microsoft needs to enter the world of touch-enabled devices. Microsoft is due for a refresh of its desktop operating system. For the company to provide the same answer to two different questions is not the approach that Apple is taking, and I don’t think it will bode well for either endeavor.

Windows 8 Consumer Preview Continues to Illustrate the Wisdom of Windows Everywhere originally appeared on TheMacAdvocate on February 29, 2012.

Hmmm…needs more fire.

Microsoft’s New Windows Logo Needs Something originally appeared on TheMacAdvocate on February 17, 2012.

Shaw’s latest dig refers to all the scratch Microsoft is making off of Android’s OEMs through the license agreements that all of the big manufacturers have been signing:

#occupyandroid

Redmond tipped the 70% point after signing up LG for the “extended we won’t sue your ass warranty”. The only major manufacturer not paying out to Microsoft? Hint: they duped Google into overpaying for them. Motorola gets to hide under Larry’s skirt while everyone else pays their tithe. That deal just gets better and better.

It’s a shame we don’t know how much these manufacturers are ponying up for the privilege of having Microsoft do nothing for them, but for the companies making Google’s kit, it’s as free as it is open. It has to be especially tough for suckers like HTC, which just announced that their October-to-December profits fell 41%.

So shine on, Frank X Shaw, you crazy diamond. The enemy of my enemy is…well…still my enemy. But Apple is stomping your hapless corpse in PC growth and in every category of consumer electronics where you two compete, so it’s easy to laugh at your tweets.

Google Lied, Android OEM Profits Died! originally appeared on TheMacAdvocate on January 12, 2012.

I guess “Google’s deep commitment to defending Android, its partners, and the ecosystem” doesn’t reflect Samsung’s deep commitment to sit around and wait for it to happen.

Samsung Not Waiting for Googlerola, Pays Up to Microsoft for Android originally appeared on TheMacAdvocate on September 28, 2011.

And speaking of comments: holy shit. If this is the way Microsoft employees feel about their products and their leadership, they’re worse off than I hoped imagined.  I tried to find a single positive offering, but had to give up once my scrolling fingers (Trackpad, natch) cramped. I’d chalk up the comments to trolling, but these guys’ lingo is very company-specific. If some of them are to be believed, people actually got up and walked out of the event when Ballmer took the stage. I don’t know where you work, but if I pulled that shit, I’d be tazed in the balls and wake up coasting down Broadway duct-taped to an office chair with my personal effects in my lap.

Employee Satisfaction at Microsoft is at an All-time High-larious Low originally appeared on TheMacAdvocate on September 27, 2011.

Applying the same logic they used with the Zune and Windows Phone 7, Microsoft heard there were huge margins to be made in retail, so they’ve committing to building another 75 Microsoft stores within the next 2-3 years.

"We shall double our efforts!"

Apple, Masters of Retail, Responsible for 20% of *All* Retail Growth So Far This Year originally appeared on TheMacAdvocate on July 13, 2011.

The customer satisfaction mavens over at J.D. Power clobbered Ford’s vehicles in their annual Initial Quality survey, moving them from 5th place last year to 23rd. A major reason? Microsoft’s Sync entertainment and phone interface. According to David Sargent, vice president of global vehicle research at J.D. Power:

“People were finding several problems with the system in that it would crash, freeze, black out,” said Sargent. “Beyond that, people complained that it was more complex to use than they would like.”

An overly-complicated computing interface that periodically crashes? You can’t make this stuff up people.

Microsoft’s Sync Torpedoes Ford Car Rankings; TMA Requests Use of FARK’s “Obvious” Tag originally appeared on TheMacAdvocate on June 23, 2011.

You wanted touch? Windows 8 has touch, goddammit!

I can honestly say that some of the features debuted look like a fresh take on a mobile OS. Some sensible gesturing, a cool way of interacting with 2 apps simultaneously. Here’s the problem: this UI is a response to the iPad. There’s a reason why Apple segregated iOS and OS X. In classic Microsoft “Windows everywhere” fashion, they’re attempting to layer a touch-based interface with yummy buzzwords like “HTML5″ and “JavaScript” over the top of a desktop and file system. How will people using a keyboard and mouse interact with this layer? How happy will people be swiping and tablet-typing in Excel?

If this is the trajectory Microsoft is going to continue on, they’re headed for head-on collision between their legacy users and their desperate 3-years-too-late attempt to enter the touch OS market.

Windows 8 Demo: Show TMA on the Pad Where Apple Touched You originally appeared on TheMacAdvocate on June 1, 2011.