The Circle is Now Complete: HP Follows Through on Its Embarrassment of Microsoft

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Feb 102011
 

A while back, I wrote about a sad panda Steve Ballmer who, months after poking an HP/Windows conflagration called “Slate” at CES 2010, had HP announce they were yanking the device from production in favor of developing their own OS via their Palm acquisition. Whereas in the past, this kind of betrayal would have led to scorched earth in 5 mile radius around HP’s Palo Alto headquarters, in 2010 all Microsoft could do was tear up quiver-lipped and choke on the new normal: that Microsoft was no longer a player and can’t afford to burn any of its partners, no matter how overtly or spectacularly they embarrass the company. In a huff, Microsoft spitefully fired Robbie Bach, grabbed a couple of pints of Ben and Jerry’s and passed out on the couch during a “Drop Dead Diva” marathon. So I hear.

It looks like HP is making good on its emasculation: enter the HP TouchPad, a 9.7” tablet (*yawn*) running a jumbo version of Palm’s WebOS. It will be available this summer, meaning like every Palm product, it will be competing with the newly-minted version of Apple’s product – in this case the iPad2 – which means it’ll bomb.

But I appreciate HP taking one for the team to make Ballmer look like a bigger douche. Not that he needed any help.

 Posted by JT at 10:15 am  Tagged with: , ,

Jonathan Rubinstein: Good Luck

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Jun 112009
 

I realize I come off as a total Apple shill 99% of the time, but that’s because I believe that Apple creates superior products. There was a time when Palm was also one of those companies. Because of its reluctance to adjust the value proposition of its PIM to the needs of consumers combined with some poor strategic decisions *cough* WinMo *cough*, they went from a company to watch to a company on deathwatch.  With the release of the Palm Pre comes a new era: Jon Rubinstein will add CEO to his role as Chairman.  Ed “Cyanide Capsule” Colligan will step down after 16 years.

Palm may be too far gone for Jon to save.  His company has been hemorrhaging money – most recently to get the Pre to market.  The bleeding has necessitated a transfusion: the private equity firm Elevation Partners shot up Palm to the tune of $325 million – a 27% stake. It sucks to have an staking millstone hanging around your company’s neck. When that millstone is warming a seat for the person that ran your company into the ground (Colligan’s next move is to join Elevation) – well that really blows.  At least the Pre gives the company its best chance: a great product.  That’s not always enough‚ but if Apple – and Rubinstein – have taught the consumer electronics industry anything‚ it’s that you shouldn’t underestimate the power of a great product to save a company.

I tip my cap to the man responsible for the iPod – and to the man who brought creativity back to Palm.  I wish him all the best.

 Posted by JT at 11:59 am  Tagged with:

Roger NcNamee Named Chief of Retractable Statements at Palm‚ Inc.

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Mar 092009
 

roger001Anyone who’s ever had a controlling interest – be they boss‚ spouse or capital investor – go off the reservation when they were allowed to unhinge their cake-traps will appreciate this story.  Palm Inc. filed a “Free Writing Prospectus Published or Distributed by Media” – basically a series of qualifications and retractions – for Elevation Partners’ Roger McNamee statements to Bloomberg TV during a March 5 interview about the not-yet-released Palm Pre.

Now Roger’s bias is understandable: he and the folks at Elevation have a lot of money riding on the Pre’s ability to save Palm.  That said‚ you’re really not doing your investment any favors when they have to swab up your representations of their product to the point where only the prepositions in the transcript remain unaltered (I may have to file my own prospectus for that one). My personal favorites from the interview followed by their corrections in bold:

“You know the beautiful thing: June 29, 2009, is the two- year anniversary of the first shipment of the iPhone.  Not one of those people will still be using an iPhone a month later.”

The statement in the second paragraph of the article that “not one” person who bought an Apple, Inc. iPhone on the first shipment date “will still be using an iPhone a month” after the two-year anniversary of that day is an exaggerated prediction of consumer behavior pattern and is withdrawn.

“If you want to go to the web, it’s just going to be a million times—well, not a million times—several times faster (than the iPhone)”

…the Palm Pre is still under development and it is premature to state the speed at which the device accesses the web or the relative speed of the Palm Pre compared to the smartphone products of competitors.

A Palm spokesperson‚ who requested to remain anonymous‚ confided that Roger was asked “What’s your encore? Anally raping my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?”.

 Posted by JT at 2:36 pm  Tagged with:
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