Jan 122013

The Next Web (TNW) publishes a monthly tablet-only magazine. They started, like every developer, on the iPad. And like most developers, they eventually gave in to the fandroids’ “build an Android version” harpy song. Beginning in 2013, TNW won’t be publishing their magazine for Android and their reason should resonate with every developer that actually wants to make money in mobile:

All of that [the pain in the ass it is to develop for the bazillion Android form factors] wouldn’t have been a problem if we had seen a market for our magazine on Android. And we did believe there would be one. We had gotten enough requests for it and had gotten the impression there were thousands of anxious Android tablets owners holding their breath for an Android version of our magazine. Unfortunately we’ve found out that although Android users are very vocal they aren’t very active when it comes to downloading and reading magazines.

Bitchy and cheap. That’s an awesome combination for a customer base.

 Posted by at 12:15 am
Jan 112013

I’ve taken a stab at analysis, and I’ve even given some advice to would-be analysts on how to pry money from the coffers of companies that don’t know much about the tech market with analysis that is the statistical equivalent of throwing a dart. I now present my latest foolproof  scheme for making money off of everyone’s favorite Cupertino company: Apple Troll Bingo!


It’s easy – just toss a penny (the approximate value of 1,000 pageviews) onto the board and write something that tracks the evergreen Apple trolling theme it lands on. Make sure to quote specious and/or anonymous sources where possible (it worked for the New York Times!), use statistically insignificant – or better yet – anecdotal evidence and claim to be someone who has loved Apple forever. No matter how many times you jump the shark, you’re bound to score a buttload of eyeballs just like Dan Lyons or Gizmodo. Information is no longer the currency of the internet culture; its heresy and link-baiting!  The more provocative, obtuse or straight-up wrong you are, the more people will flock to decry you. You may even get bonus clicks with a follow-up retraction of your argument for why Apple should do something that Apple would never do because it’s stupid.

It’s like printing money. Happy New Year and you’re welcome!

 Posted by at 12:19 am
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